I know that you already deal with drama and crap on a daily, shit, an hourly basis, but I have recently heard a few rumors about myself that have my balls in a knot.
But first off Jeff- I love the NSM. I respect the hell out of you and all of our members. I have had the best times of my life with this organization. But it has come to my attention recently that there is a rumor that I am on the verge of being booted for drinking too much, Angela's daughter has been called into question again, etc,etc.... I quit drinking 2 months ago. Haven't touched a drop. I am lifiting weights, jogging, working my ass off to get in shape and I hear that at the Memorial Day event, an individual was telling Angela that I am a fucking drunk and have pretty much been kicked out of the NSM.... I won't mention his name because that is not what this is about.
Jeff- I fucking love this organization and I look up to you. I never wanted things to come to this point, but I am FUCKING FURIOUS right now! I have stood up for and supported everyone in the NSM. I consider you guys my family and this is how I am treated? People talking shit about me behind my back? Telling my fiance that she would be better off without me? I was so fucking hurt when I heard that, especially considering who it came from. Is this Aryan unity? An episode of the Jerry Springer show?
Yes- I will not lie. I had a drinking problem. And I quit! Absolutely and completly- I fucking quit because it was a betrayal of my oath. We all have our faults, and that was mine. I want to ask the motherfucker who talked behind my back if he may not have tipped the bottle a few times after being beaten nearly to death most of his childhood by a drunken asshole and then spending 8 years in a maximum security prison..... Sometimes, a hug just doesn't fucking cut it!
I am sorry if this pisses you off Jeff- but I have not been this fucking angry in a long time! I love you man and I love the NSM. I have been waging an internet war on your behalf for 6 months. That cocksucker Jim Ramm is one of my favorite targets.
I have been faithfully doing all I could for the NSM on a "budget" that is laughable at best. I have been down to washing my clothing in the bathtub and using coffee filters for toilet paper- just so I could keep my internet and phone on and continue helping you with these emails. Am I to be discarded because I had a drinking problem? Am I nothing more than some ex-con piece of shit to be thrown away when I am no longer useful?
I think that this is the case and it breaks my fucking heart. Commander- I will not ever quit the NSM. i took an oath and you will have to kick my ass out. But my goddamn heart is broken right now and I want to stomp someone's fucking guts out.
My life is going great right now. I am happy, healthy and working hard to spread the word and get our message out there. And then I hear this shit! If I really am about to be booted for drinking too much a few months ago, then fine. But I will not resort to slandering the NSM or starting a whole fucking internet page about it. You may not even be aware of this and so I apologize for bothering you with this. But it needed to be brought to your attention.
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