Commander- Angela, the baby and I are doing well. I took a break from work and am feeling a hell of lot better. With my time off from work I took the oppotunity to investigate a few things.
Sir, I like to think of myself as a cautious man. After the years I wasted away in a cell, I learned to never jump blindly into anything ever again. When I found this organization, I felt that I had finally found the thing that I had been searching for all my. Something honorable, noble and decent. I can never live down the shame of being a criminal, but that was long ago, and I used my time in prison to change my life.
The time I have spent with my comrades in the NSM has been the happiest and most fulfilling of my life. I know my place here and am certainly not motivated by the attainment of rank or any of that superfiscial bullshit. I only wish to serve, and that is as honest as I can be.
When the recent scandals surfaced and the shit hit the fan I remained silent. I respect the chain of command and I know when something is none of my business. But it bothered me. A lot. I honestly believe that there is honor and dignity within the NSM, but there is also some rot. And not just within the ranks of those who left.
Again Sir, my first and only loyalty is to this movement. But I am fully prepared and willing to give my LIFE if called to do so, and I would not want that sacrifce to be for nothing or for a group of people who had not been 100% honest with me. I am the first person to speak out against insubordination or disloyalty. Such things sicken me.
There are two things that define me- being a father and being a National Socialist. If any man ever hurt, defiled or disrespected either of those parts of my life, I would hunt the motherfucker down and behead him. I don't believe in hell, I believe in the reallity of this life and I believe in honor. I was once a dishonorable man, but that was long ago and I have a new life now. It distresses me that the one thing I have found, besides my children, to be worth a goddamn thing may in fact turn out to be a pack of lying, half hearted assholes who deserve my steel-toe against their traitorous heads.
If their is a dark side to the NSM, something rotten and in need of "surgery", I want to know. Now understand Sir, I am not a hippocrite. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the chain of command and for that fact that I am just some new guy.... But I am not like most NSM members. I am sure that most of our members are sincere and dedicated, but most of them have no idea of the level of committment I have for National Socialism. I absolutely do not give a single solitary fuck about the sacrifices or hardships of professing our beliefs in today's world. Jeff, I would happily give my GODDAMN LIFE for this movement. And I don't only mean the NSM, I mean the entire whtie nationalist movement in general.
I believe that the NSM, although flawed, has the potential for true greatness. Not simply a couple hundred members, but tens of thousands. I have read EVERYTHING that Ramm and all the rest have written. From my time inside the walls, I have developed the ability to smell "bullshit" a mile away. I don't get too much of that from what I've read. I know a lying fuck when I hear one, and I just don't pick that up from many of your detractors. Again Sir, don't misunderstand me. I took an oath and until my last breath I will uphold that oath. This is my oath to YOU. If I break that oath then I am no better than a jew or a nigger, and deserve death.
But if I am going to committ my life to the NSM, I need to know what is REALLY going on. Don't underestimate me Commander, I am hell of a lot smarter than a guy with a prison record and a G.E.D. I will stand and fight at your side and the NSM until every last goddamn drop of blood in my body is splattered on the fucking ground. But I will not give that level of committment until I know exactly what the hell has happened to this organization and a reasonable expanation why these things have happened. I sincerely hope that this letter was not taken in the wrong way. You have my loyalty Jeff. An oath is unbreakable, for any reason. Unless one of the involved parties has acted treacherously... I want to believe in the NSM. Tell me the truth and make me believe Sir.
If you can be honest with me and do that, I will march at your side to the gates of hell itself without fear. Heil Hitler Sir.
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